2022-07-12 Like a newborn

Since the start of the pandemic I started keeping a diary: what times I’ve been waking up or going to bed, what I’ve been eating — how much of and when, how many minutes I spend in the shower, what medications and supplements I’ve taken (they're a lot); mundane things that don’t mean anything to anyone, maybe not even to myself, although I suppose it is useful to know how much water I’ve been drinking or if I’m getting enough Vitamin D — I heard Vitamin D helps during the winters to boost your mood, but it’s not even winter, and I still dread waking up every day, past noon, but getting up anyway to drink a terrible cup of instant coffee, and scavenging for some stale bread from the back of my freezer (it had been there for ages); when the world started to open up again, I wondered if my solitary planet would burst out of its bubble, and suddenly thrust me back out, like a newborn upside down, covered in blood, my umbilical cord about to be cut, crying for my mother or crying because I’m alive and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Filed under: Prozac Nation

2022-07-05 Hello, Navi

Testing, testing, 123. Is this thing on?

I kept trying to launch this at the start of the pandemic, but always had an infinite number of excuses to fall back on. And now that this is finally (finally!) up, out into the aether, I am at a loss for words. And I often have been for quite some time now. Writing doesn’t come as easy anymore, my memory isn’t as good, mental clarity has gone out through the window, and I can’t find the right words at the right time.

But I’m here now. Maybe that’s all that matters.

Filed under: Get in the robot